Saturday, March 31, 2012

On Buying your Own Groceries and other Things

By Amy Faulkner 



Today’s confession – I don’t have time to write confessions. I mean geez, college is hard! You have to force yourself to get up in the morning, make your own coffee, make yourself go to class every day, and even though you have a little bit more freedom, you still have to do things. I mean you have to do them. In my case and the case of my siblings, you don’t have a choice.

Let me explain: my siblings and I are all going to very expensive, private colleges hundreds of miles away from home. Our parents are spending thousands of dollars to educate us and even more money sending us to and from college. The distance gives you lots of independence. You have to make your own decisions; when to go to bed, when to wake up, when to do your homework and when to hang out with your friends. But I don’t feel like I have the freedom to choose whether or not I go to class or do my homework because my parents are the ones paying for my education. I owe them too much to get bad grades. That is where I don’t have a choice. It’s kind of paradoxical. I have independence but have to depend on someone – myself, and my independence is bought by my parents so I am still really dependent on them.

I have to buy my own groceries.

I’ve done lots of things to prepare me for college. My mother taught me how to do my laundry so I wouldn’t look like an idiot in college. She taught me how to battle my natural introverted intuition when I need to ask for something. My parents helped me prepare for many things I would have to face on my own. They did not prepare me for buying my own groceries.

It’s scary how much it costs to feed a person. It’s amazing how much it costs to make a really good cup of coffee every day. I eat at the Dining Hall at least two meals a day but my friends and I like to bake, so we buy a lot of flour and eggs and chocolate chips. I also love nutella and cheese sandwiches. Not together, of course. It costs a lot to keep my mouth happy. There’s also the slight problem I have with shaking. I shake when I need food, so I have to keep snacks around. It gets pretty expensive in the end.

Now I’m sure you’ve heard the joke that you can only have two of the following three in college: good grades, enough sleep, or a social life. I can both confirm and deny that. I can confirm that I got a good amount of sleep most nights my first semester, kept a fun social life with my friends, and made decent grades. The only thing I can really complain of is that I know my grades could have been better if I had had a little bit less of a social life. However, I can also confirm that keeping up these three aspects of college life took a serious toll on me.

They always say that the first semester and first year of college is the hardest. I can definitely confirm that. I’ve had problems in the past with depression and I decided not to listen to the urgings of my loved ones to talk to someone about the difficulties I was facing. It ended up exploding in my face, driving me crazy. I didn’t get to finish my first semester. I thought I could have it all with none of the consequences. I must confess, that didn’t work.

My suggestion for you is maintain only two of the three points of college life your first semester or first year. Some people can deal with all three all the time, but if you are like me, if you are an INTJ or an INFJ, you should probably take my advice. Try maintaining just a social life and good grades or just sleep and good grades. I suggest that you always keep up good grades, no matter what you plan on. And if you are having trouble adjusting to college life or finding alone time or making friends, I suggest you talk to a dean or peer at the college; someone you trust. Many colleges have counseling services and can even help you pay for them. I speak from experience.

Okay, that’s enough for the hard stuff. I just have one more confession: I am writing this in class. Yeah, you caught me. The good news is, my teacher never will. This woman is crazy and I don’t know why I took her again. She is, in fact, the same teacher I described in my last blog as looking and acting almost as nice as a dragon. I had her last semester for Honors English 103. We called it Death 103. I don’t know what tempted me to take “Jane Austen and Her Life” for J-term after Death 103, but here I am, learning about Emma and family relationships during the 18th and 19th century. Did you know that birth control spread through Europe from France? The first good form, that is. Yeah, every now and then I tune in.

Well, I have nightly study questions, another oral report, a report on every movie we’ve watched, an epistolary essay, a weekly quiz, and a final exam to do and prepare for. J-term is so easy.

Also available from Amy Faulkner

Also available from 10:31 Life Ministries 
The Truth: Why Love the Word?  by Jonathan Faulkner

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